Children of adoption workers kidnapped by “birthmothers”

“Birthmothers” retaliate, kidnap children of adoption workers

RECEIVING COUNTRIES, May 5, 2008 (Impoverished Women’s News) — A self-identified group of “birthmothers” retaliated against the adoption industry early Monday morning, kidnapping thousands of children of adoption agency workers at traditional shopping malls worldwide.

In major metropolitan centers around the world where children of impoverished women were sent for adoption, the children of middle-class adoption workers went missing, and adoption agency buildings were looted and burned in simultaneous, apparently timed, attacks.

“We are holding the children at a safe but undisclosed location,” said a spokeswoman for the the group claiming responsibility. “Adoption workers who wish to know where their children are being held may apply to our search process, but they should know that we do get many requests and we are very, very busy so they have to be patient,” said the woman who spoke through a translator.

The armed group of insurgents loaded previously undisclosed files, some up to 50 years old, onto trucks and drove to undisclosed locations. Many adoption agency buildings were doused in gasoline and lit on fire. “We thought it would be a good idea to show them a real fucking fire,” said one mother, who asked to be named but who has been anonymous for so long it would be weird to start naming her now.

Adoption workers wondering how to locate their “first children” were urged by the militant mothers’ group to “apply to our Web site if you are interested in locating … biological offspring. We take Visa or PayPal.”

“Make sure you know who to contact first, whether in your own country or another, because like I said, we are very busy,” she added.

The common theme of the day seemed to be grieving adoption workers. “Our children were stolen! Can’t they do something to get them back?” wailed one adoption worker as the firetruck’s siren wailed even more in the background. “What about the government?”

American lawmakers, when asked to give a statement, responded via their interns. “We’re sorry, but we are too busy to care unless you have a rich, well-organized lobbying group or a personal connection with a lawmaker,” they said. “ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!” they added through their automatic e-mail service.

A spokesman for an advocacy group for ethical adoptions said in an interview via phone with Impoverished Women’s News, “We are not sure at this point if it would be ethical or in the best interests of the child to give them back. Most likely it is not. The children have already been integrated into their new environments.”

“We have been aware for quite some time now that human trafficking in intercountry adoption is indeed a problem, which is why we’ve proposed a decades-long programme of reform which might change things in the future, maybe, I guess, if everyone agrees, maybe, it could. Of course adoption always entails loss…. sigh…. I need a snack. Is it 5:30 yet?” the spokesman added.

“Shit, I just lost my job!” she added, when she realized that she was talking about the kidnapped children of middle-to-upperclass adoption workers who speak English, not poor colored women who can’t speak English.

The kidnappings are part of a new wave of violence that has been sweeping across “receiving countries,” first in sporadic and seemingly benign incidents, followed by more organized and open guerrilla warfare. Discontent has been festering for decades in “sending” countries as “birthmothers” — often called “mothers” in local dialect — have become more vocal about the exploitation that has resulted in the “international adoptions” — sometimes referred to as “kidnappings” in local dialect — of their children.

The timed attacks against adoption workers affect relatively few people, so pretty much nobody gives a hoot. In addition, the “birthmothers” are working on brainwashing the general public so that those who may have witnessed such attacks are actually in favor of them.

The sorrow of the mothers of the children now being held by the “birthmothers” has been leavened by the few letters and photographs from the children of the workers that are being occassionally delivered through third parties. Most letters from the children mention their thankfulness that they can, in their new homes, “receive a college education.”

One of the more enlightened and progressive “birthmothers,” who had taken a daughter about 10 years ago and seems to know something, said, “Our family prays for our kidnapped daughter’s ‘birthmother’ every day on ‘Kidnapped Yer White Ass Day!’ That seems to make everyone feel good. We also take her to camp for one week every summer so she can be with other white children and learn the customs of the white people. It’s expensive but it’s worth it. She can say, ‘Hi!’ in her native language. Isn’t it cute?”

“I am talking with my group now about trying to make more family preservation efforts for the children of adoption workers,” she said, while crossing her fingers behind her back.

A few of the children mentioned their dissatisfaction with the process that had brought them to their new homes, but they were advised to shut up.

No one is working for the safe return of the children.

26 responses to “Children of adoption workers kidnapped by “birthmothers”

  1. jane!

    you are a bad-ass and i love your blog.

    much respect,
    kasey

  2. All of the above.

  3. Hilbrand Westra

    Jane,

    Nevertheless we might have some differences in approaches of the issue, I admire your ‘guts’ and strength…in a way your feminine Korean ‘figthers’spirit shows here her origin.

    Warm Regards,

    Hilbrand

  4. Stole in.bi. Death

    Update June 7,
    While grieving adoption workers (still expecting their selection of children from overseas) encourage Federal Security and Terrorism Department Officals to post an “Amber Alert” individuals across america confuse reports of kidnapped children by “birthmothers” with images of “birthmothers” randomly giving birth in unexected locations across the United States of America.
    One interviewed adoption worker wondered, “Theoretically speaking of course if my child is kidnapped will the supply of children from overseas be diminshed? I hope I will at least still have a job,” Her friend also a member of Religous Social Workers Saving Orphans Abroad United (RSWSOAU) nodded in aggreement, with a fresh bleach blond hairstyle her well tanned face agonized over where and how she will pay her bills and support her church and family in the future. “I loved my child, who would do this to me?” she said in tears.

  5. Yeah! That’s the spirit!

  6. Ole Burfmuggle

    Bravo!!!! Excellent reporting!! My Ole Burfmuggle hat is off to you!! I will be sharing this far and wide…

  7. This is priceless!!! Thank you so much for the great visuals… if only!!!!

    Wishfully,
    One of those kidnapper “burfmuffles”

    http://www.originsusa.org

  8. maryreunited

    Jane found this cross posted, absolutely wonderful! I love it! Can I help you as well? I know an agency in Chicago that is just begging for the same treatment.. Meggles

  9. Absolutely Brilliant!!! Love it!!!

  10. Jane,
    I don’t know you but I could just kiss you! This is a great blog!!!

  11. This is too brilliant!

  12. I love it.

    As Theresa said too brilliant.

  13. In related news, a recent adoption workers’ class action suit was dismissed by the courts. The suit claimed the that those kidnapped children who boasted they were happy in their new environments suffered from Stockholm Syndrome, and demanded damages be paid for deprogramming.

    The dismissal was based on the court’s belief that the children were sincerely happy to have been relieved of their natural families. Plus they really didn’t give a rat’s ass and it was just too time-consuming and expensive to process the suit.

  14. haaaaaaa……. lol …crying!! too funny!!!

  15. You go girls!!!!

    Give them a taste of their own medicine.

  16. Yung Hee Kim

    Part of me is rejoicing, part of me is crying.

  17. Reblogged this on Adopted in the UK and commented:
    Oh dear. I really do feel bad for the adoption workers who were so careless as to lose their access to their kids, but obviously they must have done something terrible to have that happen. It is obviously and undoubtedly In the Best Interests of the Children that they remain with the birthmothers, who can offer these children far more security than the careless adoption workers have clearly previously managed to provide for them.

    Those lucky lucky children!

    (And no, I can’t believe it took me this long to trip over this stunningly written post.)

  18. SHEER GENIUS… WHOEVER CONJURED UP THIS…….LOVE IT…. LOVE IT…. LOVE IT……GIVE THEM A PIECE OF THEIR OWN MEDCINE….ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS….MOTHERS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD WHOSE CHILDREN WERE TAKEN IN ADOPTION SHOULD GALVANISE WITH OUR TAKEN SONS AND DAUGHTERS….. TO HAVE…..A ONE HOUR RAGE EVERY DAY OF ADOPTION MONTH…AT YOUR LOCAL SHOPPING MALL((((((((Tartan Hugs))))

  19. joseventy@googlemail.com

    dont mess…with my muma…coz shes cuming to get you..my mum means it….well done ladys respect of the highest….wat comes rd go’s rd? x love you so much for courage…. powerfull .thought n thinking and doing! not just saying n say so.x ur no1 fan x mojouno.x

  20. Reblogged this on Parents Rights Blog and commented:
    “Birthmothers” retaliate, kidnap children of adoption workers

    RECEIVING COUNTRIES, May 5, 2008 (Impoverished Women’s News) — A self-identified group of “birthmothers” retaliated against the adoption industry early Monday morning, kidnapping thousands of children of adoption agency workers at traditional shopping malls worldwide.

    In major metropolitan centers around the world where children of impoverished women were sent for adoption, the children of middle-class adoption workers went missing, and adoption agency buildings were looted and burned in simultaneous, apparently timed, attacks.

  21. brilliant piece….. what goes around comes around….its called Karma..🙂

  22. Oh just Brilliant!!! Love it.. sharing.. made my Monday!!!

  23. About time something like this Happened to CPS Workers.
    A nice taste of their own Medicine !!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I no longer have time to update this blog regularly, but I appreciate your comments, even though I cannot respond to all of them. All comments (except spam) have been allowed to go through unmoderated since June 16, 2014. Any comments you see prior to that date have been read and approved by me. Thanks again, and wishing you peace and blessings.

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